It has been some time since I have posted on my blog. I have been trying to respond faithfully to the changes life has brought upon me. In doing to I have had to prioritize and make decisions about what is really important. So I have taken an absence to my blog. I am currently working on some content, and should be posting on a more regularly basis. Until then please enjoy this reflection from St. Clement of Alexandria
The perfect person does not only try to avoid evil.
Nor does he do good for fear of punishment, still less in order to qualify for the hope of a promised reward.
The perfect person does good through love.
His actions are not motivated by desire for personal benefit, so he does not have personal advantage as his aim.
But as soon as he has realized the beauty of doing good, he does it with all his energies and in all that he does.
He is not interested in fame, or a good reputation, or a human or divine reward.
The rule of life for a perfect person is to be in the image and likeness of God.
It has been cold here. The whole city is covered under a thick blanket of ice. For many the ice and cold is a nightmare. For me I see it as therapy. Much needed at that. I love this weather. I find the cold calming. I long for the brutal cold wind of the North. I long to hear it whip around my house. The rattle of the windows. The sting on my face as I work outside. The cold and ice is gone now. Still in my heart it remains
The Nativity of our Lord is just around the corner. I am looking forward to it, and dreading it at the same time. Physically I am not ready. My house is not prepared. Emotionally I am all over the place. Spiritually I am anxious. I guess this is a good way to be.
I once was the one with answers. I was the one people went to for direction. A pillar in the church. Now I am none of these things. Just a shadow. A phantom of my past. I hope Nativity will bring a new beginning. The start of something beautiful. At the same time I am ok if this is as good as it gets.
I am no longer the hopeless optimist. I am not a pessimist either. Whatever is will be. I am not looking for some sort of false reality. Or living on hope of something better. I am trying to live in the present. To accept it and grow in it.
Lord have mercy on me. I came into this new place in life very arrogant. I didn’t see it at the time. Who am I? What exactly did I expect? I don’t know if I have any answer. What I do know is that I am so done. I am over worrying about what family might think of me. I am over preconceived ideas of who I am suppose to be. I just want to live. Truly live.
Ok so I have not really spent much time with this blog. It seems that I thought I knew what I wanted to do with this blog, but never really found a way to do what it was I was trying to do. I know that might not make much sense, but it does to me.
Basically I hoped to use this blog as a way of working out thoughts, and struggles. That really never happened. I did share some of my thought and experiences. I am sure that will continue. I guess part of me never really wanted to invest to much time in what I was trying to accomplish on this blog. Knowing that at sometime I would be received into the church, and then ultimately change the format. Or maybe I was nervous to express thoughts and opinions out to the vast faceless internet.
So I am back, and I have BIG plans for what I am going to do. I will be posting thought provoking meditations I hear. I will be posting interviews with various people in ministry I am acquainted with. Who knows yet what else. I am still working that out.